Roll Call: Present!


Scattered thoughts.  Emotions are on holiday.  Meeehhhhh.  This feels like indifference, but I hesitate to call it such.  Perhaps a better moniker would be “experiment.”  This phase of “wait and see” requires a certain degree of apathy, of being ok with inaction and imperfection.  It’s new for me and I feel I’m playing the part of detached observer.  What will happen?  Will the world cave in?  Who knows?  Best just to stay out of it and see where it all goes.

Such, too, has been the path of my writing the last few weeks.  I was on vacation and then the past two weeks back to work have been busy enough to keep me from writing.  Technically, I could have written on the weekends, but I chose not to.  I am taking a break (hopefully permanently) from the belief that I must produce in order to be of value and worth.  I am allowing myself time to discern where my passions really lie.  If I told myself I didn’t have to do something, would I still do it anyway because I wanted to?  That is the question.

I am attempting to enjoy leisure, which has very different rules from work.  Leisure is about fun, delight, and awe.  You mean I’m suppose to include that in my life?  I shouldn’t be working all the time?  What a novel idea.  🙂  I’m working on grasping how the leisure game is played, but I imagine I will arrive there eventually.

Here

Keep going

It’s just ahead

Ten years later, still

It’s just ahead

Arrow pointing up

It’s just ahead

Ten more years, still

It’s just ahead

That arrow is a mockery

“It’s just ahead,”

it says, but it’s leading up

Over your head

It’s just ahead

is just out of reach

“Happiness” on the weathered sign

It’s just ahead

Ten more miles

“It’s just ahead”

is what it said twenty years ago, didn’t it?

Still the same sign, the destination –

It’s just ahead

So tired now, too many miles underfoot

It’s just ahead

is just too far.  A bench –

It’s just ahead

I sit down, relief bathes me. “Happiness” – don’t care that

It’s just ahead

Such beauty here I never noticed.  I look up

“It’s just ahead”

Is gone from the sign

“Happiness,” it says, “You are Here.”

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6 thoughts on “Roll Call: Present!

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