As 2009 draws to a close, I — like everyone — am reflecting back on the year.
It’s amazing to think about where it started and where it ended. While nothing “major” happened this year, substantial growth nevertheless took place. We can’t always see growth in day-to-day living, but when we look at the whole, we realize that each day was a step upwards, another stage in the refining process.
The year for me can be summed up in a recent event.
Two weeks ago I was waiting rather impatiently for something, anxiously asking God why it was taking so long and what it meant. Yet when the day arrived, I found myself very glad that I had had that two week waiting period. Surgery needed to take place in my heart first–a removal of wrong thinking and a transfusion of God’s thinking. While it didn’t seem like I was changing during that time, when I reached the end, I was indeed different. His gentle, unobtrusive dealings were readying me for what was to come.
And so it was with this year. It was a year of waiting, of being quietly prepped without my even knowing it. As I surrendered my will to Him, His workings became gentler than they were in the past. The less I strove to make myself a perfect, selfless person, the more I could walk in and share grace. When I relied on His grace, I was at my happiest and kindest. When I relied on my own willpower, everything fell apart. I’ve been learning to trust Him more, too; to not struggle against His guidance or question His judgment. Whenever I would try to tell Him something wasn’t possible He would tell me to “be still and know that [He is] God” (Ps 46:10).
I’m excited for 2010. Was I for 2009? Honestly, not so much. But this past year, as He and I spent time together and “talked of many things” (to quote Alice in Wonderland), I got to know Him as a God whose goodness and desire to bless us is only surpassed by His incomparable love for us. With a God like that by my side, on my side, and over all the workings of my life, I can be confident that 2010 is going to knock my socks off.
May the One is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine bless you greatly in 2010 and always!