My writing assignment for today is so delightful that I mustdo it!!! I am instructed to write an opening paragraph as badly as I can — a sort of reverse psychology. It helps you to more easily recognize common writing mistakes and tune your ear, so to speak. Ok, here goes….
The full moon hung suspended in the inky sky, brazenly bathing the sprawling, urban terrain in milky lighting, illuminating the good, the bad, and the restless alike. The restless were memorized by the moon, eyeing it with a deep, almost unconscious dread, like a werewolf might before making the painful change into a howling monster; it was a night for evil and mischief and horror and pain, a night that would long be remembered by the tall, mysterious, wandering stranger, Chad Douglas. It was a night that would be remembered by all who were unfortunate enough to come into his shady, lair of a path, as well.
He snuck out furtively into the night like a slinky black cat crawling belly to the ground, sinister plans, maniacal thoughts whirling around his cranium, plans that were slick with grease and thick with grime: Showtime, fellas, he thought with a twisted grin, Daddy Douglas is on the prowl.
A girl with fire engine red lipstick, a lacy chemise, and a heart set only on gold sauntered into his path as he raced across the moonlit, hard pavement from tree-throwing shadow to shadow, and thought as she put one stiletto-ed foot in front of the other, Now there’s a man who ain’t no good.
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Oh, dear. That is hard to do…I think that’s all I can muster right now! I am fighting the urge to read the above paragraphs aloud in a deep, melodramatic voice whilst cocking one eyebrow sinisterly. Hahahaha [throaty laugh].