Afraid to take risks, I [can] easily plummet into a mindset of indifference. An ulcer no doubt already burning in my stomach, why bother fretting and analyzing over a situation? Better to concede defeat, give up, throw in the towel, wave a white flag. Yet I might as well imprison myself in a windowless room for all the good it will do me to continue such logic (if it indeed can be called that). The real “better” is to chance a reddened face or an awkward pause than to cowardly assume something will never be.
Time to choke fear so it will be done choking me. Always a smashing idea, but an idea is a wispy, lofty thing that takes a good deal of chasing to bring down to earth. On a side note, I think truly creative people are those who can execute an idea—even harder than concocting an idea in the first place. So…to get creative. There’s the rub. Or not. My pastor has just today exhorted us on the importance of telling the spirit of fear to go back from whence it came. Fear is a real spirit that attacks us, and we can combat it with the Word of God and the presence of the Holy Spirit. For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. Amen! I’m speaking that over myself, and while I continue to pray fervently for the manifestation of His will in my life—I want that more than anything—I am stepping out in confidence and faith. Staring down the fear of quiet time to myself, of what I’ll find in that silence. Boldly shoving aside timidity to say what I really think and how I really feel. To hope that it can happen, and not assume that it would never be. To accept the gifts, talents, and skills that God gave me (and to really believe that I have some!) and unashamedly and unapologetically wield them.